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01:41 am: The Solution is Here
Since I stayed up to 4 am last night finishing a large fantasy novel packed with all the good stuff*, I slept in until about 2 pm this afternoon, blowing out of the water any grandiose plans I might have had for Saturday.
And being stupid, I volunteered to show up at the office tomorrow.
Liking one's job is such a double edged sword.
So, I flopped out of bed and went to the dry cleaner's. (I am trying to get a kimono belonging to a Japanese doll cleaned. The lady at the dry-cleaner's looked at it, looked at me, laughed and asked me if I'd made it myself. Then, because it was so ridiculous to have someone comming in to get such a tiny little item dry-cleaned, she called in her husband who looked at it, looked at me, laughed, and asked me if I'd made it myself.) Then, I went to a local coffee shop where I ordered a Chai, and a slice of really sugary, gooey, delicious carrot cake.
While I was eating this carrot cake, and daydreaming, and looking out the window at the people going by, I had it:
A revelation.
An epiphany.
A realization that could change the world.
I figured out a simple way to peace in the middle east. Are you ready for it?


Think about it. There were no religious wars when people beleived in millions of Gods. Why? Because no one was challenging anyone else's gods' right to exist! People who worshipped the Egyptian pantheon didn't go and beat the snot out of the people in Babylon because they worshipped Ishtar. In fact, if you beleived in Ishtar in Memphis, you were perfectly entitled to do so. And the king of Mitani (which is near present day Iraq) didn't mind sending off to the king of Egypt for healing statues of goddesses when he was feeling under the wheather.
That's the big problem with Monotheism. We consider the belief in one god the hallmark of an advanced state of civilization, but why? What is primitive about thinking that there are multiple creative forces in the world? When you have one god who has no others before him, you open the door to fanaticism, and you make your culture incompatible with all other cultures which revolve around a different god than yours. You provide a rallying point for people's natural fear of the exotic. Why are those foreigners inferior to us? Well, they worship Allah when there is no other God besides Yaweh. Why should we go invade continent X? Because they worship gods and spirits, and it's our duty to save their souls and lead them to ONE TRUTH, and theyreblackandwewanttheirland but ONE TRUTH! We're saving their souls!
Of course, people in the middle east were still beating the snot out of eachother when they beleived in large pantheons of gods. They were just doing it for different reasons. They wanted to take eachother over. That's addressable.
It's the religious differences that make modern conflicts so hard to arbitrate, because two monotheistic religions are by definition mutually exculsive. You either have one god or the other. Only one group can be right. The other has to be converted/killed/kicked off the land. Land conflicts without religious undercurrents are pretty cut and dry. It is universally agreed, for example, that Germany and Japan should have kept their hands to themselves in world war II. There was a Black and a White in World War II.
But when both sides can be right, whose side should you take?
The world would be such a better place if Allah and Yaweh were both gods in their own right and in the same context. And we could even make the Virgin mary a goddess, and Jesus could be granted full Godhood instead of being just the nice (but snotty) side of his father. There'd be no more conflicts about who should own certain parts of Jerusalem. Mosques built on top of Jewish temples could be converted into double temples for both gods like the temple of Horus and Sebek at Edfu! And hell! We could all worship Ganesh and Vishnu, too!
Can't you just see the religious illustrations? Jesus and Vishnu holding hands, hands, hands while a faceless Muhammad looks on? Now that's utopia.

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