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March 28th, 2005

10:23 pm: Why Being A Neo Nazi and Listening to Marlyn Manson does not a School Shooter Make
Well, two more days and my soul will officially be sold to EA. :) Now, if I can only graduate.
Lazy day. Played a lot of video games and read my book.
In case you haven't noticed, I like to post on this board when something makes me angry in the news. Today, we're going to talk about school shootings.
School shootings occur in communities that are supposedly tightly knit....small suburbs of Denver where everyone is perfect (well, except that people in the West hate newcomers, and the west's lack of diversity reduces the American Dream to having a blonde boy in the football team and a whispy chaste christian cheerleader for a daughter).
The red lake reservation should have been a community banded together, and I'm sure that on the outside, they were. Though I'm not a minority, I am pretty sure that there are some pretty major identity issues involved in growing up in a society that has been subjugated and oppressed.
These "Stepford-esque" and tradition steeped communities which are supposed to be tightly knit are where school shootings happen, and the reason has to be bullying, and this hierarchical mould that high schoolers are slapped into and sawed off at the ends if they don't fit.
Whenever these things happen, I feel for the victims and their families, but I can't bring myself to think of the perpetrators of monsters and naturally evil people. They are the products of what society has made them.
I'm sure with the red lake shootings, people are going to blame Marlyn Manson. They are going to blame Neo Nazi-ism. Hitler, having been pure evil and also being dead, is a convenient scapegoat for these kinds of things. I think the whole Hitler thing was a symptom, and the Marlyn Manson, hell. That means nothing. There are plenty of goths and plenty of people who listen to Marlyn Manson. I have many friends I love who fit neatly into both categories.

What's really hard is looking into our own small town, and our own neighbours, and our own highschool system and thinking: how did we mould this event? How can we prevent it. The shooter is ultimately to blame, sure. Almost everyone makes it through highschool only receiving and causing emotional damage.
How long is it going to take to realize that that rosy period we'd like to beleive was the best part of our lives has become a Hell for our kids?

Current Mood: apatheticapathetic
Current Music: Behind the Wheel, Kristy Thirsk

March 24th, 2005

01:39 am: Evil, Evil People.
Sooo, during a week of stress and sadness, it's time to post something trivial and petty. YAY! I've uncovered an uncanny resemblence between certain celebrities and certain archvillains. I think they're among us and trying to take over the world! Exhibit A:
Michael Jackson. (By the way, you know it's been a nasty week when the most lighthearted news in the paper is about Michael molesting little boys!)
The Evil Emperor Palpatine! The chin. The ghoulish complexion. The notch in the chin. The sunken, drooping eyes, and the hood. "They look so goshdang like the same person! I say 'you want icecreamcone'? and they both say 'YES!'"

Bobby Fischer: Chess genius and subject of a really f'king boring movie that I couldn't sit through but probably won some prestigious award because every boring pointless movie has to win an academy award. He looks like something that belongs in an AWESOME movie. With living dead. And flesh eating maniacs. And zombies!
Wonder what would happen if you whipped out a chess board in front of Bobby and said "Yo, She-bitch! Let's Go!"
Bet he wouldn't get it. Bet I could beat Bobby Fischer. What kind of sissy goes by Bobby, anyway?

The mad scientist in Nightmare before Christmas (I know I've said this before.) bears an uncanny resemblance to.....
Donald Rumsfeld. I really think they're the same guy. They both pulled wings off of bugs when they were a kid, and they both wear glasses. What more proof do you need?
Signing off,

Current Mood: amusedamused
Current Music: San Sanana-Alka Yagnik (Hindi)

March 21st, 2005

02:36 am: Disgusting Fundy Bastards
Maybe because I want to escape this !@#$%$ genetics exam that I have to finish by Tuesday, I've been reading a lot about the Terri Schiavo case. Rarely have I been so disgusted by current event.
Let the woman die, alright? It's sick how these people who have no business at all intervening in this case are clustered outside the hospice where Mrs. Schiavo is "living" and singing about the blood of Jesus, and it's even sicker how our president, *our PRESIDENT* flew back to washington to sign a bill (and he just did) to make them keep her alive.
She's a vegetable. She's being kept alive by artificial means, and there's absolutely no evidence to the contrary, except for her parents, who think she's responsive and will improve with treatment. She's been receiving treatment for FIFTEEN YEARS. It ain't getting any better. In fact, her brain is filled with spinal fluid, so it's impossible for her to be "responsive".
Maybe I'm heartless, but it's time to let her go to God.
(My big question for fundies is:where does keeping someone alive artificially fit into God's plan? If "God" had been allowed to have his way, she would have died fifteen years ago.)
No. God really doesn't matter to the fundamentalist. What matters to the fundamentalist is him/herself. Religious fundamentalism is inherently selfish. It's about being able to lever control via claims of moral superiority, and it's about being able to pat yourself on the back and tell yourself what a good boy you are, and the great ego boost that gives you. It's about telling yourself that god is on your side, so you can do whatever you damn well please, the rest of humanity be buggered. That's what fundamentalism is about, and that is what our fearless leader is about.
It's time for her parents to mourn and move on.
It's time for her husband to be able to remarry.
No one should be in a state of mourning for fifteen years.

Mad raving aside, it's been a long time since I've posted. Only gotten wasted once, and recently got a job offer! So looks like I'm going to be doing what I've been dreaming of doing since I was in eighth grade (beleive it or not, it said "I want to be a game designer" in my eighth grade notebook!) So I'm excited, and I'll be graduating and relocating soon. San Fran......here I come! Watchout!

Current Mood: angryangry
Current Music: Ambient Galaxy (Disco Valley Remix)--Astral Projection

December 5th, 2004

01:53 am: Drunken Adventure
So I went to a CS student's birthday party tonite, and put a bit too much vodka in my drinks. As a result I am now totally wasted. Did accompany some TAs to the grad centre bar, but couldn't get in because of my lack of id...I figured when I left the room that I wouldn't need my ID, so I didn't get in there. Nevermind. Had quite enough to drink at said party. Head is now spinning.
Wandered like Sydney Carton, "unsteadily and stealthily" home and being less prone to procrastination when totally wasted, I decided to take out smelly trash and to clean Grrr! the turtle's tank which was all poopy because I've been too busy and too lazy to clean it. Anyway, put Grrr! in the sink, and started to wash out his tank. I have put a mug in it upside down for him to sit on while he basks in glorious flourescent light. Cleaning out his tank, I dropped it in the shower and it shattered. Being the responsible drunk I am, I decided to clean it up so I didn't cut my little feet in the shower tomorrow morning (probably still will). Cut figer on shards. I look down and there are red blots on the tiles and I'm like "oh, that's funny, I must be bleeding from these shards." Didn't hurt at all, I thought it was something else at first. Maybe that chocolate covered coffee bean I ate wasn't a coffee bean? I'm so prone to go off on tangents when I'm drunk. So I mopped it up with toilet paper and washed my hands obsessively several times. I'm sure you care about this. Sorry for the gross details. Probably froze poor Grrr! who was in the sink when I was washing my hands. Filled tank up, and put Grrr! back in it. Poor guy. It was really cold, but he looks happy enough. Maybe I'll buy him a non-flourescent bulb tomorrow. Hari says his shell will fall off if he doesn't get natural sunlight. Oooh. Nightwish is playing. Niiice. And my finger is now bandaged in a bandaid with skulls and crossbones on it that I have been saving for an occasion such as *this*.
Goodnight y'all!
I'm going to bed.

Current Mood: drunkdrunk
Current Music: Rammstein: Alter Mann

November 23rd, 2004

02:00 am: Thoughts
Haven't updated this for a while because I've had a buttload of work. Man, and I seem to have lost my ability to pull all-nighters. It's 2 am, and I'm ready for bed but I have to stay up because my laundry in the dryer and I want it wrinkle free and folded so my mum doesn't "mention" the wrinkles in my clothing.
Sigh. It's a hard life I lead.
Programming a raytracer now, and at 2 am after five hours of debugging it (it still looks like crap on a bad day, but at least now it's not speckled crap. @#$ing epsilon: you are the tapeworm in the bowels of my code.) Here are some thoughts:
-Carpel Tunnel syndrome is a myth. It is a myth made up by slackers to get attention from people who notice the big bandage they put on their hands, and to get out of doing work. "I can't code....I have carpel tunnel."
Sure you do. Your lies do not fool me.
-You know when you fall asleep chewing gum and wake up and it's in your hair? That's my raytracer code. It's the c++ equivalent of having gum in your hair.
-Remember that movie that you got to watch in 9th grade? Donald Duck in Mathemagic Land?
Mathemagic Land is REAL! I've BEEN THERE. And I was lost the entire time. I was like Alice from Alice in Wonderland, except I was having a conversation with a point in worldspace and it said:
`we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.'
`How do you know I'm mad?' said Me.
`You must be,' said the Cube,`or you wouldn't have come here.'

Current Mood: sleepysleepy
Current Music: Frank Zappa: Crew Slut

November 11th, 2004

02:12 am: Words of Wisdom
Alrighty then. It's 2 am, time for another cuppa tea and a live journal entry.
Word of advice to all of you out there who are squeamish about maths: never, ever, ever, ever, ever take a computer graphics course. Sure, it said that "linear algebra is recommended but not required." What they really mean is: "If you come into this not knowing linear algebra like the back of your hand, linear algebra will proceed to beat you bloody and leave your raw pulsing corpse in a ditch by the side of the road." All those pretty pictures will become equations to you, and these equations will swim in your head at nights when you are trying to sleep.
Honestly, at this point in my life, ditching school in 9th grade the day we learned about scalar multiplication ranks among the worst decisions I've ever made.
Along with taking this damn class.
My friend (whom I shall refer to from here on out as "beastmaster") joked that I should have taken Operating Systems, which all my friends are miserably slodging through at this point. I shot back that at least I wouldn't be constantly outdone by hotshot sophomore math wizards. In Operating Systems, I'd just be another 'tard in a sea of 'tards instead of a single 'tard on a solitary island of mathematical incompetence.
So yeah. I'm back in my room now, still smarting from the daily spanking by the phong illumination equation. I'd better pass this, too. I've been living in the sunlab like a little sunlab hermit crab.
Speaking of spankings, we looked at a tomb releif from giza in egyptology in which a tax evader was brought into the presence of the tomb owner and SPANKED (not merely a beating, but a spanking!) The caption was something like "giving to him a clap". See? Spanking has a grand and glorious history.
I'm all in favour of giving your kids mild spankings. Keeps the little rats in line far better than any sort of grounding and "time out" does. What kind of kid (who doesn't have an inbred sense of catholic guilt) is going to actually sit and think about what they've done when you make them sit in the corner. No. Spankings are the way!
Spankings for all!

Current Mood: crankycranky
Current Music: Astral Projection: Live Set

November 7th, 2004

07:20 pm: Cartman Rove
This article reminds me of the episode of southpark where Cartman learns to shit out of his mouth and it becomes a national fad.
"We can't let activist judges thumb their noses at 5000 years of human history." Hmmmm. Well, marriage between a man and a woman has really only been defined that way in biblical history. It's tradition in other cultures but probably not sacred. Even so, is thumbing your nose at 5000 years of human history nessesarily a bad thing?
Slavery has at least a 5,000 year legacy, and is mentioned in the bible, as is wife-beating. I was reading on the daily jolt the other day a post from a woman who said that no one who wasn't married understood the sacred aura that comes with marriage. Maybe *her* marriage, but I'm sure that you won't catch any of the partners from the 1/5 failed marriages in america going on about a sacred aura....
Time to change 5,000 years of history, because 5,000 years of history is ignorant and wrong.
Activist judges my ASS. That's just slang to distract us from the stink eminating from Rove's mouth.

Current Mood: Self Righteous
Current Music: Delerium, Underwater

November 5th, 2004

11:10 pm: Dumbass Songs 'n Terrorism
Songs with godawful lyrics.
I hate it when I'm listening to a song that's pretty popular, and all of a sudden the singer spouts something that just wants to make me gouge my ears. These generally aren't songs that are purposely stupid, like Blue, or Barbie Girl...or even songs that have really lame concepts, like that song Bjork sings about dinosaurs and cars...no, these are songs that take themselves perfectly seriously. These are the songs that have one stanza that makes you wonder whether the lyricist had a stroke while writing it, or just rode the short bus in elementary school.
#1) Beautiful Stranger, Madonna. I used to like this song, then I listened a little closer and heard THIS:
"You're the devil in disguise
That's why I'm singing this song"

Oh THAT's why she's singing this song. It would have been less heinous if lyricist X (because god forbid Madonna write ANYTHING herslef) had just tried to rhyme something totally irelevant with "down". Can't be that hard: frown, clown, pound, gown, cow......
#2) Galileo, the Indigo Girls.
"I call on the resting soul of galileo
king of night vision, king of insight"

Yeah. I just have a problem with asking a crusty old dead scientist for advice on your love life. And calling Galileo the "king of insight" bothers me for some reason.
#3)Casey Jones: The Grateful Dead
"Ridin' the train, high on cocaine...."
I admit, "cocaine" is probably the best word you can find that rhymes with "train"....but any song that finds it nessesary to rhyme ANYTHING with "train" is automatically "lame".
#4) Magic: Delerium (I love delerium, by the way. They're one of my favourite groups, which made the following lyric hurt even more.)
"I think we're gonna fly away, up to the stars
And I don't even know who you are
Maybe it's just and old superstition, but,
You're a warlock aren't you?"

Said in the most fakey seductive voice ever. Yeah. I'm a warlock. And I'm going to turn you into a heap of ash for wrecking what could have been a decent song with that terrible lyric.
#5) Yellow :Coldplay (Because I friggin' Hate Coldplay)
" Cos you were all "Yellow,"
I drew a line,
I drew a line for you,
Oh what a thing to do,
And it was all "Yellow."

Oh, gosh golly darn! What a thing to do! If you can't keep your hands to yourself, we're going to have to take your crayons away, and also your nose plugs so you'll stop singing with your sinuses.

The first thing I saw that made me want to write tonight was an article on google news about Arafat wanting to be buried in Jerusalem, and the Israeli minister of justice saying:
"Palistinians will choose where to bury him, but he will not be buried in Jerusalem because Jerusalem is the city where Jewish kings are buried and not Arab terrorists," Israeli Justice Minister Yosef Lapid told Associated Press Television News.
Raanan Gissin, spokesman for Prime Minister Ariel Sharon, said:
"He will not be buried in greater Jerusalem, in the same manner that if Osama bin Laden were killed, he would not be buried in Arlington National Cemetery."

-Yeah. That's going to cement relationships. Love the implication that all arabs are terrorists. And also, how many thousands of years has it been since a Jewish King was burried in Jerusalem? What really gets me is the last statement, comming from the very top: The difference between the Osama being burried in arlington cemetery and Arafat being burried in Jerusalem is that *Arlington is not located on land that belongs to Al Qaeda as well as America!* I think that the reason that there is no peace is not only that the Palestinians are persistently violent, but the people who have power to make peace, the ISRAELIS, DONT WANT TO DO IT if it means that they have to meet anyone half way! Their idea of peace is "The other side kisses our feet, says sorry, and promises to do what we say, and then there will be peace."

Current Mood: boredbored
Current Music: Moskau, Rammstein
01:17 am: Sei Shonagon Doesn't Like Bush Either.
Interesting thoughts
(At Least I think so)
-My turtle, Grrr, who was rescued from a research lab is moulting. He was saved from dissection by a friend who recently moved accross the country, and she foisted him off on me at her going away party. I was kind of sloshed (but I'd agreed beforehand) so she was like "here! Take it!" and handed him to me in a bucket. Anyway, he's moulting, and he's laying on top of an upside down teacup I've stuck in his "tank" with his head down. Poor guy really looks like he's feeling under the weather. I keep thinking that it can't hurt because his shell doesn't have nerve endings, but then I imagine that it might feel like it does when you get a really bad sunburn and peel, and it itches like the devil. Poor little guy.

-The saddest thing in the world must be to die because of your own naivette. I kept up on the kidnapping of Shosei Koda in the news, and read about how people were harassing his family because the government was spending money on him instead of on the earthquake victims. I don't think he was stupid...just naive...like so many people who have never really left their home country or state for very long. He could have been any number of people that I see every day who reduce the world's problems to good vs. evil, or think that they can instantiate peace by walking around with a picket sign. He must have realized how naive he'd been before he died: he appologized to Koizumi for putting his life in the hands of the government, and what's really sad is that he's going to go down in popular memory as being stupid and shameful. He more than paid for it.
Most well-meaning youth from first world nations probably would have been just as obvious and easy a target, and many would be just as willing to put themselves in danger for an idealism that doesn't coincide with reality.

Current Mood: sleepysleepy
Current Music: Tonikaku Musyouni, Globe
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