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07:16 pm: Music: Why must it be so painful?
Today's topic: "Music: why must it be so painful?"
On the insistence of a friend, I decided to go to Yahoo Launch and watch some music videos....heck, I only have to study for a Virology test that I ABSOLUTELY-MUST-PASS (so it's not like I had anything better to do).
Granted, my tour-de-top-forty was a little biased, but I USED to think the top forty was terrible.
Now I realize the truth. You see, five+ years ago, when I was of the top forty listening age, music was merely mediocre. It was bad, but had a tune. It tried not to tread on anyone's toes.
FAST FORWARD: Now, the top forty, as if not happy with being only lame, ACTIVELY SUCKS. It goes out of its way to make your ears hurt deep inside. It makes that lady in Uzumaki who tried to destroy the spiral in her inner ear not look so spiral-crazy.

Hollaback Girl (Gwen Stefani)- I was expecting to sort of like this one since I really liked No Doubt in highschool (before they lost their sense of humour in return of saturn). Man. This song HAS NO TUNE. I was expecting at least a chorus, but it is painfully tuneless. And furthermore, Gwen, you are not black. You are the very pinnacle of *NOT*BLACK*. And what's with the cheerleaders singing about *Bananas*? Nothing slightly relevant, I'm sure. Remind me to add this to my list of dumbest songs EVER. Right next to Beautiful Stranger.

Harajuku Girls (Gwen Stefani)-Slightly less craptacular than the above. At least it has a tune. Even if the lyrics consist of Gwen talking about how her boyfriend bought her some Japanese fashion and how she likes it and how she wishes she could afford more (suuure she can't afford it). This is a new level of inane, folks. And she pronounces harajuku (Hair-uh-joo-koo). And despite her apparently fervent wishes, GWEN STEFANI IS NOT JAPANESE, EITHER.

Do Somethin' (Britney Spears)-Have you ever wanted to see britney drive a pink hummer through the clouds and sing about it?
Me neither. And I hope to never hear it again. The bar has just been lowered. Thank you, Britney. Again, absolutely no tune. Britney can't rap, but she shows us in this song that she CAN squeak and squeal. Heinous.

La Tortura (Shakira)-Watching this was La Tortura, but it was probably the best one I watched. Actually had a tune. Not a memorable one, but we give points for the basics here. This harks back to the good old days of mediocrity. I'm absolutely fascinated by how she can move her thighs and bosoms like that...it's like a "Machine or Sumthin'."

So unless machines do it for you, avoid this one.

In conclusion, I think that the escalation of pure suckage in music has coincided with the rise in lawsuits against downloaders. The suckage of music is why a lot of people download in the first place. I can't count how many albums I bought because a mediocre song on the radio hinted at better things on the album. I think that Cary Sherman and the RIAA are masochists who are innerly wishing for their own demise.
So I'm going to do my part to give them their wish...now where did I stick the exec. for that bit-torrent client?

Current Mood: accomplishedaccomplished
Current Music: Sonar Blow Job--Kraftwerk
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